Extreme CU – A Japanese man’s face. Ugly and distorted. Baggy eyes, which are both cunning and naïve, looking to the left. High cheek structure, gaunt from irregular meals, with a smallish, shifty mouth. Perhaps a thin, immature mustache.
Panel 2
Med. - Int. - Tavern basement – Hanaru is in his twenties, but looks much older, and as if he doesn’t much take care of himself. His clothes are ragged, boots mismatched, and his hair hangs in greasy, unkempt hanks. He sits with his spine pitched upward, curved by a hump which is small but already beginning to pull his shoulders back. He has impossibly long and spindly legs which are jutted before him, causing the low chair to be pushed back from the wood plank table some ways. The right arm dangles listlessly to his side with the hand resting on the dirt floor. The other hand is wrapped around a crude, wooden wine cup. He looks across the table to his companion who is seated opposite him.
The man across from him is strong, a brigand. He wears a horse-rider’s outfit, with his long hair pulled back in a silver ring, and a sabre hangs from the back of his chair.
Panel 3
The brigand, Rafu, leans forward to pour more wine from a stone carafe into the hunchback, Hanaru’s, cup.
Rafu : My men tell me not to waste my time on Hanaru. Hanaru is worthless and stupid, they say. That I would be better to place my trust in an opium den whore.
Panel 4
Extreme CU – Hanaru’s face with some shadow casted across it. His eyes are now looking to the right.
Panel 5
CU – Brigand from the chest up, pouring himself a drink. He has a light hearted, friendly air to his movements and physical expression. He is solid featured, if not rough, and not overly handsome.
Rafu : But I say to them - “Hanaru must be given a chance. It is true he has made mistakes, yet how can a man redeem himself if he is not given the oppurtunity?”
Panel 6
Ext. Cu – Brigand’s leather gloved hand on the handle of the carafe. The carafe is stone, the handle is dark wood. The glove is well designed and he wears finger rings over it.
Rafu : You do wish to redeem yourself, do you not, Hanaru?
Panel 7
CU – Hanaru’s sillohuette taking a drink.
Hanaru : Yes, Rafu. Very much so.
Panel 8
Cu – profile – Rafu taking a drink.
Panel 9
Same shot as 8 – Rafu raising his cup and smiling a little.
Rafu : Of course you do.
Panel 10
Same shot as 9 – Rafu throwing his cup to the side, trailing wine in the air. Rafu’s face is contorted with menace.
Panel 11
Med. – Rafu is on his feet and throws the table to the side. Hanaru is pulling his legs back as he drops his cup.
Panel 12
Med. – Rafu cocks his arm back to strike and Hanaru raises his arms to ward off the blow.
Panel 13
Ext – CU – The knuckles of Rafu’s fist.
Panel 14
CU - Rafu’s face standing over Hanaru, from Hanaru’s p.o.v . The panel is hazy and disorientating.
Rafu : Now listen well, hunchback, because your life depends on it.
Panel 15
CU – Rafu crouched over Hanaru, who is lying on his back and cradling his face.
Rafu : Your last failure cost the leg of a man worth one hundred of you. If you get this wrong, I will be doing you a favor by removing that empty head from your shoulders.
Panel 16
Ext. CU – Hanaru’s face which is swollen on the right side. The right eye is badly brusied and half closed.
Caption : Hanaru may be the worst thief of all time.
Panel 17
Med. Open aired market. Hanaru is wearing a large, bulky, canvas coat which hangs to his thighs. He cradles the side of his face.
Caption : Hanaru tells people his parents abandoned him as a child because of the deformity which rides just below his neck and they take pity on him.
Caption : The truth is that the hump which causes his entire skeleton to ache whenever he moves, sprouted in his teens, some years after he was driven from his village by his family.
Panel 18
Ext. Wide – Hanaru walking through the market that is large and noisome with heavy traffic and busy with trade. We see many stalls crammed next to each other, selling everything one could think of.
Caption : His standing finally came to an end after he coaxed his sister to help him steal eggs to throw at a road shrine.
Panel 19
Ext. Med. All grey colors – Hanaru and his sister, Ren - are running towards us, dropping eggs and laughing. Ren is in the lead and looking back at her brother. In the bottom corner of the frame we see the tip of a root.
Caption : While being chased, his sister fell chest first into the roots of an upturned mayomi tree.
Panel 20
Ext. CU – Profile – All grey colors – Ren’s torso being pulled off of the tree root by the large hands of her father. The root is blood slick.
Caption : He raced home and returned with his father. His sister, Ren, died as their father pulled the twisted root from her ribs.
Panel 21
Market place – CU – Hanaru walking past a duck stall. His head bowed some.
Caption : In his head, which throbs crushingly, he tries to remember when he has done something right. All he sees is a list of mistakes which has no end.
Panel 22
Marginally increase frame – He passes a low stall where a woman selling scrolls takes notice of him and frowns.
Caption : He knows he will have to become a beggar sooner or later, his cripple becomes worse with every season.
Caption : If he can just make a few successful heists with Rafu and his group of bandits, he may be able to hold off on the alms pan for a while yet.
Panel 23
Wide – Hanaru sees a small cluster of Buddhists up ahead.
Caption : He could become a monk.
Panel 24
CU – He laughs.
Panel 25
Med. – He continues to walk through the thoroughfare. He is close to the left side of the panel, so we can see the market scene behind him. A yogi is contorted into a pose, a boy hawks colored bottles while his grandmother dozes, and a butcher is putting a peacock to sleep with a long knife.
Bottle Boy : Three for the price of two!
Caption : No, he must concentrate.
Caption : He must return to the grace of his peers.
Panel 26
CU – His bare feet which look too long on his thin ankles. They are filthy and send up tiny clouds of dust.
Caption : The last heist was almost perfect until Hanaru kicked a sleeping cat which overturned a row of sculpted glass flowers.
Panel 27
Med./Wide – Night – All grey colors - Beside a palatial home, we see silhouettes of people in stealth positions in the midst of a heist - from left to right. Hanaru’s unmistakable hunchbacked self, in a surprised pose. Next to him is an accomplice who has swung his staff at a Guard. He ducks it with a neat upswing of his sword, severing the bandit's leg at the knee.
Broken glass glints at their feet, loot bags on the ground, and a cat is leaping over the wall.
Panel 28
Med. Same profile shot, but a bit tighter. – Hanaru is crouched down with his arms held up to protect himself. His accomplice is on the ground and has a hand over his own mouth to hold back a scream. The other hand is clutching his severed stump which spurts. The Guard is advancing on Hanaru, sword upraised to down swing on him.
Panel 29
CU – Hanaru’s upper body in defensive posture, face in a grimace at what is to come. Both eyes are slits and the whites of them stand out.
Panel 30
Med./CU – Profile - The Guard falls to the side of him with an arrow in his back. Hanaru, still in his cowards position, looks towards the source of the arrow which is out of the frame – right.
Rafu – from out of panel – right : I should have waited three more seconds.
Panel 31
Wide – Silhouettes again – Rafu and the others, with their own loot sacks and weapons drawn, in their stealth positions. They are putting a tourniquet on the one who lost his leg and picking him up at the same time. Rafu pushes Hanaru forward - hard.
Rafu – whispering : Hurry! Before you get us all killed.
Panel 32
Extreme CU – Profile – Hanaru’s face framed tight, revealing the bruise Rafu gave him at the tavern. He is sweating terribly.
Hanaru : I must not fail this time.
Panel 33
Med. – His back is facing us. Up ahead are massive double doors, set in the high wall of the market place.
Caption : His instructions are simple.
Caption : Stay in this heavy jacket which has metal fitted into the lining of it by Rafu's men.
Caption : He is to stand by the doors and one of the bandits, acting as a drunkard, will stab him with a knife, causing the city guards to leave their post.
Caption : This will be the signal for his fellow robbers to take the gate.
Caption : This will be the signal for his fellow robbers to take the gate.
Panel 34
Med. – Pull back a bit to open the frame – Hanaru approaching closer still to the gates.
Caption : The sun, combined with his pounding skull, is causing him to feel faint.
Caption : He was told not to stop until he reached the gates.
Panel 35
CU – Profile – He is standing at a stall, putting a tiny bronze bar on the counter. He is handed a carafe of water by a woman in a light blue dress. The gates are to his left.
Caption : This will only take a moment.
Panel 36
Same shot – His head is thrown back and the carafe is tilted an inch or two from his mouth as water cascades into his mouth and down his front, cooling him.
Panel 37
Same shot, but bit tighter – With one hand he slicks back his hair and with the other, hands back the jug. His head and torso are soaked. He is giving a rough smile.
Hanaru : Much better.
Panel 38
CU – Horse hooves churning up a road.
Panel 39
Med./Wide – Hanaru approaching the locked gates which loom over him.
Caption : Rafu has spent a lot of time putting this together. This is to be his greatest robbery yet.
Panel 40
Med. – Market place – A medium sized, rough canvassed, covered wagon; being pulled by three nasty looking and mottled donkeys. This small team is being led by an old man with a strict posture and squared shoulders. They are some yards from passing the gate where Hanaru is stationed.
Caption : A chest of emeralds, cut in the shapes of variant birds, are being transported in a wagon made to look like a travelling apothecary.
Panel 41
Med. – Int. – Wagon – A cleverly placed rip in the top of the canvas lets in just enough light so we can see the ornate and gilded chest surrounded in a tight circle by foot soldiers who look drowsy and out of shape.
Caption : This sort of transport is fairly common in the large cities. Private buyers employ footpads to ride along with their cargo in a disguised cart or wagon and no one is the wiser.
Caption : Except this time.
Panel 42
Med./CU – Horses legs in full gallop and the legs of riders pressed tight to their sides, backdropped by the smear of green country side.
Caption : Right now, Rafu’s men are approaching fast from the south.
Panel 43
Med. – Hanaru standing with his back against the gate, between two guards who flank either side of the huge double doors. The one on the left looks over at Hanaru with a sour face. Hanaru looks back at him with a forced grin. The guard on the right stares straight ahead. Hanaru’s jacket is still wet.
Caption : What Hanaru doesn’t know, is that what he was told is a bit different than how Rafu actually means for this to go off.
Caption : There was never to be a staged knifing to distract the guards.
Panel 44
Wide – Rafu’s horsemen, thirty of them, closing in on the outside of the gate. The wall is reaching very high against them. The sun is setting.
Caption : Everything has been perfectly synchronized for an enormous explosion to occur, just as the apothecary cart should pass by the gates inside.
Panel 45
Med./Wide – Hanaru rubbing painfully at his hump. We see the man pulling the first of the three donkeys, entering from right of the frame.
Caption : The explosive charges are set to a very delicate system of timed clockworks which are hidden inside of the jacket Hanaru is wearing.
Panel 46
Same shot – Hanaru looking at the wagon as it passes by.
Panel 47
Same shot – Hanaru’s head follows the apothecary, and we see the end of the wagon exit left of the frame.
Caption : Clockworks which were not designed to hold up against water.
Panel 48
Wide – Rafu’s men sitting on their horses outside the wall. Ready.
Panel 49
Med. – The back of the wagon as it hugs the narrow road inside of the wall, now quite a ways from Hanaru, who is still with his back against the doors, looking out for a fellow brigand disguised as a drunkard.
Panel 50
Med. – Outside the wall - the horsemen frown, one shrugs slightly, and the leader of the group points away from the wall.
Panel 51
Med./CU – P.O.V – We are looking through a spyglass at the bandits as they ride away from the city.
Panel 52
Med. – The top of a tall building in the city. The setting sun is casting scarlet light on everything. We see silhouette profiles of a one legged man leaning on a crutch with his hand on the shoulder of Rafu, whose face is in his hands, the spyglass is mounted on a tri-pod is before him.
Panel 53
CU – Rafu’s face. It is washed in crimson light from the sun that has just dropped over the horizon. His face is the personification of anger.
Panel 54
Wide – Ext. – Deep night – The moon is half full and rather low on the horizon. Rafu and his men are beating Hanaru in the woods. They are silhouettes, lit somewhat by the moonlight.
Panel 55
Med./CU – Rafu standing with one hand held up, motioning for his men to stop.
Rafu : If I were to finish you right here, I would be granting ease to all you have known and all that you will meet.
Panel 56
Med. – Hanaru crumpled on the ground, gives a slight, involuntary moan. Rafu’s men are turned to leave. Rafu leans forward at the waist.
Rafu : But you will live. Before you know one of the Eleven Hells, you will finish this life in a Hell all your own.
Panel 57
Med. – Rafu with his back to us, walking away, framed by the moon frosted forest.
Rafu : Stay away from me, Hanaru. If I see you again, I will take your eyes and all of your fingers.
Panel 58
CU – Rafu’s face which appears calm in the faded silver light. He spits to the right.
Rafu : I swear this.
Panel 59
Med./ Wide – Rafu walking towards his men.
Panel 60
Wider – Rafu and his men are gone.
Panel 61
Med. - profile - Hanaru on the forest floor. He is raised up on his elbows, making a racking movement with his body.
Hanaru : Jizo Bosatstu hear me..
Panel 62
Panel 62
Same shot - He is collapsed on the ground.
Caption : Darkness takes him.
Panel 63
Half panel - Black.
Panel 64
Wide – Forest Night – The moon is a touch fuller. Hanaru is dragging himself into the woods.
Caption : The following night.
Panel 65
CU – Facing Hanaru. He is pulling himself forward by clutching to a tree limb.
Panel 66
Med. – Profile – He is stopped on his hands and knees, gasping.
Caption : Hanaru feels the worn ruts of an old woodsmans path in the soft pack of the forest floor.
Panel 67
CU – He uses a stick to pull himself up.
Caption : He is used to his body in constant pain and calls on all of his little prayers and breathing tricks to supress it now.
Caption : He is used to his body in constant pain and calls on all of his little prayers and breathing tricks to supress it now.
Hanaru : I will not die out here.
Panel 68
Med. - The sky is hedging on dawn as he comes to a clearing.
Panel 69
Wide – O.S – The feeble light casts a view on the area and it shows us a massacre. A caravan coach which is wood, and very nice, is on its side at an odd angle. There are a dozen soldiers, along with horses scattered all around dead. We can only make out their dark figures in this frame.
Panel 70
Extreme CU – Hanaru’s eyes looking to the left.
Panel 71
Same shot – Eyes looking to the right.
Panel 72
Wide – Hanaru cautiously approaches/drags himself to the caravan, looking down at the slain men as he does so. They look broken, as if thrown down into these final poses.
Panel 73
CU – Hanaru peering through the open side door of the caravan, we see the graying sky behind him and we also see that he is indeed, badly beaten. His eyes are wide at what he sees, but which is not yet revealed to us.
Caption : Bandits did not do this.
Panel 74
Int. – Caravan – Two old men who look more like wizards than nobility, have had their arms ripped from them, left with terrible contortions on their faces. Between them and spilled open, is a small chest of gold bars and jeweled oddments.
Panel 75
Tighter shot - On the gold. We see his hand reach for it. One of the fingers is bent.
Panel 76
Med. – Hanaru using his whole body to pull the chest out.
Caption : Everything in him screams to leave as quickly as he can.
Caption : This, he ignores.
Panel 77
Med./CU – He spills the coffer onto the ground, scattering the small bars beside an axe which lays on the carpet of the clearing. We see that the axe is wonderfully etched and spattered with blood.
Caption : Greed will reduce the most intelligent person to the easiest fool. In Hanaru's case..
Panel 78
Med./Wide - Hanaru, sitting with his back against the overturned coach. He has forgotten his pain, and in this ever growing light we can see just how badly he is hurt. His shoulder seems dislocated and his hips are at a slight and crude angle. In one hand he holds a couple of bars up, marveling at them and grinning stupidly. The other hand steadies the chest which is resting beside him. Next to him and slumped over, is the form of a dead man.
Caption : Had he his wits, or any at all, he would have noticed that the dead men who were guarding this were not average foot soldiers.
Caption : They have the forms of conditioned fighting men and their weapons are of highest caliber.
Caption : The axe beside him is worth more than the gold in his lap.
Caption : The axe beside him is worth more than the gold in his lap.
Panel 79
Same shot – He tilts his head as he finds something in the chest, reaching in for it.
Caption : Were it not for his smashed and broken nose, he might have smelled the wild strains of animal left behind in the morning air.
Panel 80
Same shot – A bit wider – He pulls out a palm-sized silver box, inlaid with topaz. His face lights up.
Panel 81
Extreme CU – He is attempting to pry the lid off.
Panel 82
CU – He smashes the box, lid first, into the exposed wooden axle of the cart. The action splinters the wood as he does.
Panel 83
Cu – Different angle – He smashes it into the same spot again. Nothing.
Panel 84
Med./CU He sits back and ponders the box. The axle next to him makes a loud ‘Click’ SFX.
Panel 85
Same shot – The axle is a hollow compartment which swings open, revealing a long sword in its scabbard, wrapped in thin gauze.
Panel 86
CU – Hanaru’s hand clasping it in the middle. He grunts from out of frame.
Panel 87
CU – He removes the gauze and we clearly see the scabbard which is a feat of beauty. Carved with dragons, clouds, and kanji script. See attached resource file for actual images.
Panel 88
Med. - He grips the scabbard with his left hand and grasps the hilt with his right. His face is pinched in concentration.
Panel 89
Same shot – He pulls the sword out a little ways. A bit of the blade is exposed. It glows green and bathes him in its light. His face relaxes.
Panel 90
Same shot but very wide – showing the whole clearing – Hanaru has pulled the sword almost completely out of its scabbard. The entire clearing is illuminated by its soft green light.
Panel 91
Extreme – CU – Hanaru’s face - which is bathed in green. The bruises and wounds on his face are half healed.
Caption : Hanaru feels the sword as if it were a part of him, or he of it.
Caption : Light sings through every vessel of his body and his head begins to clear itself of pain.
Panel 92
Med. – He is standing up from a crouched position. The blade is now free from its scabbard.
Panel 93
Same shot - different angle – He is standing fully erect, perfect posture, the hump on his back is gone.
Caption : He is reborn.
Caption : Strength fills Hanaru as he has never known it before. His body makes complete sense to him and feels light as a cloud, as light as light.
Panel 94
Med. – thin vertical frame – He is crouched with his arms swooped down, sword in one hand, scabbard in the other.
Panel 95
Same shot – He pushes with his legs to propel upwards.
Panel 96
Same shot – He flies straight into the air, spinning and raising his arms.
Panel 97
Same shot – He spins with his arms out from him.
Panel 98
Very Wide – We see the silhouettes of demons on a sort of mountain top. The sun is just about to peak the horizon and their body postures suggest that they were walking away, but turned back to see something. What they see is a green dome of soft light coming from the clearing in the still-dark, valley forest.
Panel 99
Same thin – Med. – Veritical frame – Hanaru landing back down.
Panel 100
Med./Wide – He sheathes the sword, smiling.
Panel 101
Med. – CU – Hanaru turns his head sharply to the left, towards the mountains, alarmed.
Caption : A distant roar from the mountains to the north paralyzes him for a moment.
Caption : Now he can smell the air and understands that it is time to leave.
Caption : Quickly.
Caption : Quickly.
Panel 102
CU – Tight – His hand grasping the hilt.
Caption : He makes to attach the scabbard to his belt.
Caption : He makes to attach the scabbard to his belt.
Caption : Yet, his hand refuses to release the sword.
Panel 103
Med./Wide – Hanaru leaping from his spot to the edge of the clearing.
Panel 104
Same shot - He blurs from the clearing, and into the forest.
Caption : So he runs.
The end of issue #1 Mythic - The Sword of assembled Clouds©
Blue Christian Winterhawk 2011
